Unbelievable facts
You should not stay in a relationship with someone who is used to saying these phrases.
Sometimes it seems to us that a person is doing something for us, when, in fact, he is just trying to control you through clever manipulations.
Many of us don't even know we're being manipulated. This is due to the fact that manipulators are very good at finding a person's weaknesses and using certain phrases to always get out of the water.
Read also: Be careful! The 3 most skillful manipulators according to the zodiac sign
What phrases might signal that you're being manipulated in a relationship?
1. You're too emotional
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When you're in a relationship, you should feel free to express your feelings about different situations.
Even if it seems like nothing to your partner, or it makes you sad, it's important to share your feelings with a loved one and get some encouragement.
In a toxic relationship, the manipulator can't come to terms with the fact that he has upset you with something, and instead of admitting and trying to fix it, he will blame you and your “cockroaches”.
You're not too emotional when you're upset that he texted his ex again, even though he knows you're going to be upset about it. You're not too emotional when you're angry if your requests are ignored, especially if you've been quietly trying to talk to a person before.
2. Don't make a tragedy out of it
With such a phrase, your partner devalues your feelings and tries to relieve himself of guilt. This way he can behave as before and not think about how his actions will affect you.
Toxic partners in relationships want to be in control and avoid being held accountable for what they did wrong to you.
When you're told not to feel one way or another, it frees them from feeling guilty. However, no one has the right to be mad at you for how you feel.
3. I didn't say that.
A typical manipulator tactic is to confuse you. A partner may tell you one thing during a fight, but later claim that he did not say anything like that and you heard it all wrong.
Most likely, you will be persuaded that you did not listen well.
Again, this is how the manipulator controls you. It will convince you that you're wrong, and you might even start to doubt what's going on.
You'll be asking yourself if you've really heard it all. During such manipulations, you lose ground, trying to understand whether the person was really right. When a person says he didn't say anything, you just don't have anything to rely on.
4. I never get it right
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Playing victim is another tactic that manipulators skillfully use. Thus, you feel sorry for him and you lose the desire to sort things out.
You might even blame yourself for being too unfair and start apologizing for your actions.
As a rule, if a manipulator is cornered and he knows he was wrong, he can only play on your pity. He didn't date his ex but just tried to be welcoming. Don't you want your boyfriend to be friendly?
5. You never trust me
If a person once broke your trust, then your suspicion is fully justified. And you should not expect that you will immediately start trusting a person again.
It takes time to regain trust.
But if your partner starts accusing you of not being able to trust him, he turns his attention to you and your problems instead of taking responsibility for his actions.
And now there is an argument that revolves around your doubts and complexes, and not about what he did.
6. But you did it
If you start accusing a manipulator of talking to someone you don't like, you might think of a similar experience from your past. And if you're not perfect, how can you press charges?
You also made mistakes, so the manipulator believes that his lies can be similarly ignored.
This turns into an endless blame-shifting, where everyone is busy looking for someone to blame instead of finding solutions to pressing problems.
7. You misunderstood what I said.
This is the most common phrase manipulators use when they are caught lying or doing something unseemly. Manipulators skillfully turn the situation in their direction and pretend to be innocent.
You know very well what you've seen and heard, but you're confused about what you've been so clear about.
If this happens repeatedly, you need to realize it and stand up for yourself so as not to get stuck in this vicious circle.
8. See what you're making me do
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This is one of the key phrases of people who are used to manipulating relationships. Thus, the manipulator takes no control over his actions. He's trying to trick you into thinking you're the culprit for his behavior.
This phrase can be particularly unpleasant, especially when the manipulator did something to punish you for seeming disrespect for him.
Read also: 13 signs that you are not loved, but manipulated
With it, he can control other people, making them feel guilty for their words and actions.
9. Sorry
Most people would be happy to accept an apology from someone who hurt them in some way. However, “Sorry” is one of the manipulator's favorite phrases.
The manipulator is used to acting on the “catch and release” principle. He apologizes again and again without changing his behavior.
But since a person apologizes all the time, it seems that they are trying to be a better person, which is not true.
10. I'm not ready to be in a relationship with someone who…
There is no place for ultimatums in loving relationships. No matter how heated an argument may be, it should not lead to phrases like, “If you don't change, I'll break up with you.”
This is one way to make a person believe that all the troubles in the relationship are their fault and that you are the only ones who need to change their behavior.
Most likely, the manipulator is simply projecting his punctures onto you, because it is very difficult for him to see his flaws. If you're getting an ultimatum, don't hold on to this relationship.